Post 1 Before we Begin

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 What follows is a word for word transcript of what happened. Written by the players and sent to one another over a series of months. I am not ashamed of my behavior or of what happened, it happened, it changed me and it changed the course of my life. I remain anonymous to protect the innocent and the guilty, and those who know will know, those who need to know will understand and those who were there, well I can apologize and let you know I learned many lessons as I hope you did as well. I will be candid, open and honest so that others may explore their own deeds and reasons with honesty and attempt to unravel their own puzzles and find a life of their own truth and authenticity.

After years of attempting to edit what was and compile it into something different, something more along the lines of a story I have changed course and decided to leave it as it was. As it was written, as it was delivered and as it unfolded. If you chose to follow, follow, if you choose to judge, judge, if you chose to reflect reflect, those who chose to chose differently in their own lives learn from the choices made in the text that follows. There can be apologies, there can be remorse, there can be change, but always there will be love, and a love bigger then two individuals struggling to find a space or a place in their lives and in their hearts. A love for all of those involved and a love in moving on and finding love again. Over the next few months I will post the story as it was revealed to me, email by email, chat by chat and I will fill in the space that contained the occasional personal conversation and/or render-vous with my memories. I may occasionally self indulge and post a note or two about lessons learned and how certain events shaped me but I will try to avoid too much of this behavior because I would like readers to feel their own feelings and see where that takes them in their own journeys of life and love.
Warning some explicit language, some explicit imagery, some deplorable behavior, some terrible writing and some mundane chats but all real and all life changing.
I would like to say enjoy but instead I will say please stay open minded and open hearted.

Tzgaine (aka Kendra)

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